Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Movie Review: Spiderman 3

A Big ole' Emo Cluster-Fuck

7/10

Well folks, it really doesn't matter what is said here, because most of you have already witnessed Spiderman 3 in all its glory. However, that isn't going to stop us from giving you a review now will it? So far it has smashed all current box office opening day records (Previously held by Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest) and has at least one more week before Shrek 3 throws its hat into the already busy summer blockbuster season.

Money is nice, but what about the movie? Well, first you will notice that this film is 2 hours and 20 minutes long. A superhero movie lasting that long should draw a red flag. The film starts off fairly good. The same original cast from the previous movies is still there. You get the addition of Eddie Brock, played by Topher Grace. You also get the best villain of the film, the Sandman aka Flint Marko, played by Thomas Haden Church. Of course, it wouldn't be complete without the ever so popular cameo by the one and only Bruce Campbell.

That being said, the first 20 minutes were fairly good. After that, the film took some odd turns. Maybe I wasnt exepcting it, but seeing some random dance scenes by Peter Parker and some song scenes to boot put a knot in my stomach. To make things worse, the "Black Suit" that was hyped up so much turned out to be an emo outlet. That's right kids, Peter Parker got the emo haircut (Striking image from a Good Charlotte fanboy) , a fifteen year old pissy attitude and I swear I even saw some eyeliner. At any rate, if that wasnt bad enough, he changed his entire character. All of the sudden you see Peter Parker doing the "bang bang" salute walking down the street Saturday Night Live style, flicking back his emo haircut while girls stare at him. He even dresses down the occasion, wearing all black. It really looks like Sam Rami just said "Fuck it, I'm going to be gone after this film, I might as well have a random scene that has absolutely nothing to do with the movie".

That brings us to the villains. Sandman was brilliant. The CGI was insane, and that is saying alot considering that Spiderman himself looks worse than the first two. Sandman was used correctly. The other main villain that everyone was to piss themselves about was VENOM. Well folks, if you want to sit through 2 hours to see Venom, be my guest. That is how long you are gonna wait. And when you do see him, Topher Grace keeps pulling back his face. So the 20 minutes you do see Venom are mostly Topher Grace with a Venom leotard.

The good news (or not so good) is that the Spidey franchise has signed up for three more films. Lets hope that they give Venom his due, because they really raped him in this film.

So the final opinion, go out and see this for yourself, but I highly doubt many people will go back for seconds.

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